Family launches charity to

 

fight domestic abuse

 

July 24, 2008

By Duaa Eldeib, Staff Writer, Southtown Star News, Tinley Park IL

 

Kevin Lynch likes telling the story of the man and the starfish.

Every time the man would see a starfish in the sand as he made his way down a stretch of beach, he would pick it up and throw it back into the water.

 

Then someone asked him why he bothered, noting he couldn't truly believe he was making a difference to the thousands that washed up on shore.

 

"So he tossed one into the ocean and said 'I made a difference to that one," Lynch said, the elation evident in his voice.

"That's our philosophy."

As president of Orland Park-based BELA Charities, Lynch doesn't have dreams of the organization becoming the

United Way

for domestic violence.

"We would love to end that ill in our society as a whole," said Lynch, who lives in

Orland Park

. "However, we feel like we're a small group making small dents in a big problem. Over time, if we make enough small dents, it will make a big difference."

Lynch knows too well that making a difference to one person can be the difference between life and death.

In 1992, his sister Barbara Ellen Lynch, 33, was stabbed to death by her husband, Jesse Anderson, in a

Milwaukee

shopping center. She left behind three children, the oldest of whom was only 5.

Anderson

was sentenced to life in prison and was killed in 1994 while incarcerated.

"It was a very public death," Lynch said.

And it was the first time he or any of his other six siblings had any idea their sister was a victim of domestic violence. In 1995, the family formed the nonprofit group that stands for Barbara Ellen Lynch Associates in hopes of raising awareness and money for domestic violence issues.

One of the first groups BELA partnered with was the Crisis Center for South Suburbia. Through the years, Lynch estimates BELA has donated more than $150,000 to the shelter, most of which went to the Fresh Start Dating Violence Program, which works to educate high school students on the dynamics of dating violence and healthy relationships.

When he hears stories of young girls who now understand their boyfriends' extreme jealousy isn't a sign of love, or of someone ending an unhealthy relationship, he can't help but smile, knowing the charity that grew out of a tragedy was in some way responsible.

He also can't help but think about Barbara.

"I wish that was my sister," Lynch said.

Duaa Eldeib can be reached at deldeib@southtownstar.com.